“What is Love?”

So what IS love? And what does love “got to do with it?” As it turns out, everything!

There are many types of love, for instance, the love we have for our friends, family and children. This love comes from the heart when it is true (although from last week’s blog we also learned that when we try to control the ones we love that comes from the ego/solar plexus!) There is also romantic love, or the love we have for our “significant other”. This love can come from many places as well, the heart, the sacral chakra (sexual), or the ego if we seek to control them. Side note, sexual attraction may or may not be accompanied by love. Some people need to feel connected in a heart way in order to be physically attracted to another. Many people do not need to feel the heart connection in order to find someone physically appealing.

People often go back and forth, dropping in and out of our heart space, depending on the relationship. Many times people will drop into their ego if they are afraid of being hurt, or if the person makes them angry or upset. The challenge in all of our relationships is to stay in our heart center! Let me explain a few differences between the heart and the ego.

The heart forgives while the ego holds on to hurts and slights.

The heart loves unconditionally, (as is) while the ego often seeks to control or change things or a person.

The heart sees and celebrates the good in people while the ego focuses on the negative or seeming “character flaws.”

The heart can see the big picture and understand that everyone is on their own path discovering their own joys and surmounting their own challenges; the ego is uncomfortable with challenges and pushes against them, thus causing more of the unwanted circumstance to be prevalent in a person’s environment or relationships.

The heart will be able to put ego needs at bay and truly support a person to their highest good (even if that sometimes means letting a person go). The ego will cling to relationships and people out of fear, or dismiss the person with anger if it is hurt.

The heart can hold space for others and can envision a person’s highest potential or highest “good”, while the ego often is selfish and wants what it wants, even if that means that another person may not be able to fulfill their own needs and potential.

When the heart is open, people truly feel like “everything is gonna be alright!” The heart helps us to know that, because when the heart is open we are connected to our true nature and our soul. Everything truly is going to be alright, and our Higher Selves know this! When we get hurt, we shut the doors of our heart to try to keep control, but what that really does is pinch off our connection to our Divinity and the love that we truly are.

When our heart’s are open we also tend to have self-love, and a person cannot truly love without self-love! Too often people seek that love outside of themselves, the love that should come from within. When we seek to validate ourselves and find love through someone else, we inevitable will be disappointed. The person may go away, give their love and attention to another, and we are left heart-broken!

We are human, and so therefore not capable of operating without an ego, but when the ego runs the show we get very far away from who we truly are! It may be the case that a person chose to be in a very deep ego state for what they came to learn, so don’t judge! This writing, as all my writings are for people who are consciously wanting to create more love and joy in their lives. My audience tends to be those that seek to learn and grow and find their way back to their Divine connection.

Love is truly the most important thing in this dimension and all dimensions. I have been told by Spirit, again and again, that it is the key. But remember that that key is not external, the love resides within us, the love IS us!

Next week, look for ways to stay in our heart space when a person has hurt, angered or infuriated us! I have written this blog to help heighten awareness, next week’s blog will seek to give you some tools to help you stay heart-centered!

© 2012 TOBI TITCHENER & MYSPIRITGUIDES.COM. YOU MAY REPOST THIS ARTICLE ONLY WITH COPYRIGHT INFORMATION INCLUDED AND LINK TO WEBSITE.

Tobi Titchener is a Spiritual Intuitive and Psychic Medium. She uses a combination of all of her psychic senses to communicate with her Guides, your Guides and people that have crossed over. Her passion is connecting people to their own Inner-Spirit and teaching others how to “hear” their Guidance. She does readings and healings out of her Littleton office. She teaches a variety of workshops including connecting to your own Guidance, healing, Lightworking, and more.

www.MySpiritGuides.com

April 1st, 2012

I am “Right” and you are “Wrong!”

“Because I said so!” How many times have parents said this to their children. How many times did we hear these words as children? The basic premise behind these words is that “I know what is best for you at all times!” Granted, we want protect our children, family and loved ones, and we tell ourselves that our actions come from the heart—but when do are actions cross the line from an action done out of love, to an action done to control? Do we really know what is best for others? This is a question that Spirit has answered over and over in readings and personal sittings. Many times we “think” we know what is best for our children, loved ones, friend and family, but it just isn’t the case.

Spirit has expressed repeatedly that we all come here for a purpose. I have been told that our souls choose to have experiences in the earth dimension. Earth is a very challenging place to learn, because essentially most of us “forget” our true nature while experiencing incarnation. Our amnesia has been necessary to help us grow, however. Each Soul determines a life/Soul path that they will experience, who the players will be, and a rough estimate of all the things they want to experience during their life. This is chosen at a Soul level, and the Soul knows what it is doing! Side note — I am not saying everything is predetermined, and I won’t get into the challenge of understanding all of this when we operate from a linear perspective, and there is not the “time” constraint on the other side. In other words, things are happening simultaneously, but we are unable to perceive that with our human brain.

So if our Souls have chosen our challenges, why do we judge and assume to know what is better for somebody else? This is an excellent question, and even having awareness doesn’t necessarily mean that we won’t judge, or find ourselves in moments of weakness trying to control someone else’s path! However, having awareness can help us honor someone’s path and choices, even if they seem to be leading them head on into more challenges!

How many times have you said or thought, “If they would just do what I tell them to do they could avoid this whole mess!” Or how many times have you thought, “They will never change, they just keep making mistake after mistake!” These thoughts are not supportive of the ones we love. We need to be able to take a step back, and move into the space of “allowing”. When we are allowing, we are in our heart center and are perfectly “ok” with the idea that a person has challenges. In fact, when we are in the heart space we can find compassion for those around us experiencing their challenges. We can know in our hearts that they truly are just experiencing what they came to experience, even if it looks very painful from our external view. When we can look at someone with love and respect for their challenges and their Soul path, then we are in the space of being supportive!

One of our biggest challenges as humans is that we push against what we don’t like, or what we don’t want to happen. We push with all of our might! We push so hard because we don’t want to experience it, and we don’t want anyone else around us to experience it! That is a very controlling mindset. For anybody who has studied the laws of attraction, it is often said “what one resists, persists!” In other words, the act of focusing on it with such strong negative emotion only brings it more prominently into our experience!

I have heard many clients telling me that they are controlling because they don’t want to have to bail somebody out when they inevitably fail. In their mind, if they do it right the first time, then the whole “bailout” could be avoided. But what if their is no “right” and “wrong”. What if what is so seemingly and blatantly “wrong” to you is very “right” to someone else? We look at the challenges of those around us and JUDGE JUDGE JUDGE! ”You are doing it wrong!” we shout! But are they? If they are being guided by their soul to make the choices they are meant to make, how can that be “wrong?” It feels uncomfortable, yes, but wrong?

We are each wired for our own karmic experiences to help us learn and grow. We often find ourselves looking at someone’s path and thinking “why are they having such difficulties? What they are going through is easy!” Their situation may be easy to us because we are not wired to experience those challenges, we are wired for our own set of challenges! Someone’s karma may have them experience nightmare type relationships. If our own personal karma is not relationships, and our own ones have always been very smooth and wonderful, we may tend to judge the person and think, “why can’t they just get it right?” But what if our own personal karma makes manifesting money a challenge. That person you judged may have terrible relationships, but tons of money. They may look at our situation and think, “money is easy, why can’t they just keep a job, or earn a living!”

I have had many personal experiences with judging somebody else’s path, and it never turns out well. I have especially noticed, that the more we meddle into someone’s business, the worse it turns out, and the more they resent us! We end up wasting a lot of energy trying to control the paths of those around us! Not everyone is controlling by nature, but many of us are! It may be appropriate that a person is controlling of another person, because that soul may have wanted to have that experience! I am not telling you what is “right” or “wrong” for you, but rather inviting you to view the challenges of those around you in a new light. What if you didn’t need to solve everyone’s problems? What would you do with all that free time and energy?

Alright, having said all of that, does that mean we don’t give advice or counsel to those in need of a little help? I should think not! However, entertain the idea that most people need an ear or a shoulder, not your “kind” words telling them exactly what to do to “fix” the problem. Get rid of the idea that anyone needs “fixing” at all! Believe it or not, we are all exactly where we are supposed to be, uncomfortable challenges and all! Oh, and by the way, that includes YOU! YOU don’t need fixing either, so relax a little and cut yourself some slack. You will be surprised how wonderful life can be when you practice compassion with yourself!

© 2012 TOBI TITCHENER & MYSPIRITGUIDES.COM. YOU MAY REPOST THIS ARTICLE ONLY WITH COPYRIGHT INFORMATION INCLUDED AND LINK TO WEBSITE.

Tobi Titchener is a Spiritual Intuitive and Psychic Medium. She uses a combination of all of her psychic senses to communicate with her Guides, your Guides and people that have crossed over. Her passion is connecting people to their own Inner-Spirit and teaching others how to “hear” their Guidance. She does readings and healings out of her Littleton office. She teaches a variety of workshops including connecting to your own Guidance, healing, Lightworking, and more.

www.MySpiritGuides.com

March 25th, 2012

“Receiving” Versus “Taking” and learning balance!

The idea of receiving has been on my mind of late. Recently I heard that receiving is a feminine trait and giving is a masculine trait. I thought this was very interesting and also did not make sense to me! To be honest, I know many women (friends and clients) that say they give give give to their spouses, significant others, families, etc…and are often depleted because they do not receive energy in return! (Gentleman, I am NOT saying this is all relationships, I know there are men out there that are much more balanced with their masculine/feminine and know how to give and receive!) After much consideration, I think I may have an idea about the dynamic at work here, the difference between “receiving” and “taking”.

If we were truly able to stay in our heart chakra continuously, the love would flow wonderfully, and the balance wouldn’t be such a concern. Inevitably life, and being human is something that makes it a challenge to stay in that space! Because of this, we often get out of our heart space and give for many other reasons. When we are not giving from the heart, we run the risk of running dry. (The heart flow of love is continuous and not draining).

I think when somebody is on the receiving end of an energetic exchange, (whether it be an act of service, a kind gesture, a gift, a good deed, etc…) and they express gratitude, they are truly receiving from the heart. A lot of people that are really stuck in the ego (solar plexus energy) can say “thank you”, but you can feel that they really don’t mean it from the heart. They would have to give up “control” in order to express the true heart thank you. I can always tell when somebody thanks me where the energy is truly coming from. It doesn’t feel like a real thank you when it doesn’t come from the heart!

I think when a person is on the receiving end of an energetic exchange and they do not express gratitude, or a thank you of any kind, then they are simply “taking”. They are also taking the person, and their energy for granted. A lot of people fall into this dynamic with loved ones, where the people just expect you to do things for them, and they never show appreciation.

What happens when you give give give and do not receive true appreciation and gratitude in return? You will get depleted. We need to balance the energy we give and receive in order to be balanced human beings! Everybody says that one should give without expecting anything in return, but I am not sure that is healthy for the average person! With all of the demands on our time and energy, I believe it is important to know how to give AND receive. Having said that, don’t fall into the pattern of giving in order to get energy from somebody, that isn’t healthy either! Give because you feel inspired to do so, from your heart! Giving to get energy comes from the ego (solar plexus chakra) and giving out of love comes from the heart. Also, it is difficult for somebody to express gratitude for something you do for them when it is coming from an ego space! It feels like you are doing something for them to get something in return.

Dissecting the dynamics, a good question to ask is the “why” behind the continual giving when the energetic exchange isn’t balanced. I have heard many reasons! Sometimes it is because it is a learned behavior, and it is what a girl’s mother did, and it is what they learned to do. I would say that it mostly is how a person is wired though, and that is karmic in nature AND learned. Sometimes the giving is situational, meaning it depends on the situation and the people involved. In other words, a person may have a dynamic with a certain person that is imbalanced and not really with other people. That is the soul dynamic between people at work there. The feminine energy does seek to maintain balance though, and this is also a very strong reason why I hear a lot of females do what they do. They simply want to keep the peace. When a person gives all of their energy to keep everybody else in balance, however, there isn’t any energy leftover for themselves! Hence the depleted feeling. Sometimes the giving comes from a very unhealthy and unworthy space, like the person feels they are only worthy of love if they are doing something for someone. This is not a healthy dynamic, it leads to very imbalanced energy exchanges!

Everybody who knows me knows that I believe very strongly in our Soul path, and that we have chosen our experiences that we want to learn and grow from. We have chosen the arena, the players and the it is certainly Divine! Having said that though, it does not mean that we cannot grow out of patterns that are imbalanced and unhealthy. If it is serving us on a Soul level, it will not change until it is not longer necessary for our growth. Sometimes we release things as we go along and sometimes we keep them our entire incarnation! Unfortunately, that isn’t up to us on an ego level, that is up to the Soul!

Because we are not always able to be in our heart space, and because life often gets in the way, it becomes extremely important to know how to balance our relationships! Sometimes a friend or loved one may be going through a situation and may need a little more of our energy and love, this is normal. But imbalanced relationships are just such an energy drain! It happens to us all, the idea is to try to minimize that type of dynamic rather than completely eradicate it. You must remember that what you resist persists! So when you go about shifting this energy make your focus on balance, not on the lack of balance! Focus on being able to receive wondrous gifts from others and to be able to give in a healthy, joyful and balanced manner! And of course, as always, from the heart!

© 2012 TOBI TITCHENER & MYSPIRITGUIDES.COM. YOU MAY REPOST THIS ARTICLE ONLY WITH COPYRIGHT INFORMATION INCLUDED AND LINK TO WEBSITE.

Tobi Titchener is a Spiritual Intuitive and Psychic Medium. She uses a combination of all of her psychic senses to communicate with her Guides, your Guides and people that have crossed over. Her passion is connecting people to their own Inner-Spirit and teaching others how to “hear” their Guidance. She does readings and healings out of her Littleton office. She teaches a variety of workshops including connecting to your own Guidance, healing, Lightworking, and more.

www.MySpiritGuides.com

March 25th, 2012